Venting...

So the holidays are coming up and in a way I'm dreading it. I dread the holidays now because of his work schedule. I dread the heartache. and the feeling of being alone. His work schedule always causes us to be apart for at least one holiday. I never know until the last moment what his schedule will be and it aggravates me. Ugh. On top of that, I'm just frustrated with his work schedule period. He barely has time to spend time with me and his son. Honestly, I just want him to spend time with his son because the way I see it is that I've had the past 8 years with him but our son has only had the past 2. I need a punching bag to let out this frustration. :(

Today he got his paycheck and it was better than it was last pay period so I have a feeling that things will be "ok" for this pay period. We might struggle a tiny bit but not as bad as we did last check. I'm getting frustrated with school... again. I just cant wait to be done with everything next year. I need a break from school. With everything that is going on I need a breather. I guess I could say that I somewhat see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully that light gets brighter soon.

First Post.

Things are so-so right now. I feel like I'm bring my past to my present and my anger is starting to get out of control. I'm having problems not getting angry with the little things. With everything that is going on right now I dont know where my brain is or where anything is.